I Fall Down
A Communion Address

Revelation 1:17-18 "And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last:  [18]  I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death."

The one who wrote this text was John, the Apostle "whom Jesus loved" (John 13:23). Why did Jesus love John? Why was he, of all the disciples, the one specially noted as "the one whom Jesus loved"? Could it be because John made no mistakes, did not sin? No, that couldn't be the reason, for John made his share of mistakes. John and his brother James were the sons of Zebedee, and were nicknamed "the Sons of Thunder" by our Lord Jesus:

Mark 3:17  "James the son of Zebedee, and John the brother of James; and he (Jesus) surnamed them Boanerges, which is, The sons of thunder ..."

That title, "Sons of thunder", probably illustrated their nature. John was no quiet, meek, mild man, but a hard driven man. No, John was not perfect, nor one of the "meek" - for he sought greatness through Jesus. One day John had his mother approach our Savior and ask Him a favor:

Matthew 20:20-22 "Then came to him the mother of Zebedee's children with her sons, worshipping him, and desiring a certain thing of him. [21]  And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in thy kingdom. [22]  But Jesus answered and said, Ye know not what ye ask. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able."

John wanted to "drink the same cup" that our Savior would drink, to rule and reign by His side in the Kingdom. The arrogance of such a suggestion nearly boggles the mind. Who but Jesus could drink the Cup of suffering for all mankind? Who but Jesus would be worthy enough to receive the baptism of agony and damnation necessary to bring about our salvation? When Jesus questioned them they said, "We are able".

"We are able".

No, John was not perfect. But John loved, he so loved Jesus. Though he, like all the other disciples, slept in Gethsemane rather than pray with Jesus, his heart was devoted to our Lord. Though John failed to understand along with all the others that Jesus must suffer and die for humanity, he clung to Jesus. It was he who hung on Jesus the night our Lord revealed His coming crucifixion:

John 13:21-23 "When Jesus had thus said, he was troubled in spirit, and testified, and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me. [22]  Then the disciples looked one on another, doubting of whom he spake. [23]  Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved."

As our Lord hung on the Cross, it was to John He entrusted His aging mother:

John 19:26-27  "When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! [27]  Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home."

No, John was not perfect, but he loved Jesus. And, dear children, this is important! It is less important that we are perfect, and much more important that we love Jesus. Yes, we strive toward perfection, toward holiness as God empowers us, and each day we pray to be better than the day before. Yet God calls us not to self induced perfection, but to honesty with Him and with ourselves. God calls us to love Jesus.

If any man could have stood erect in the presence of Jesus, John would have been that man, for John loved Jesus! Love allows us to take great liberties! The son of the King crawls onto his father's knee without fear of rejection, whereas such liberty would mean death to any other person. The Apostle could have stood in Christ's presence for, he was, after all, the "disciple whom Christ loved". Yet John fell, swooning, at the feet of our Savior.

Revelation 1:17a "... And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead..."

Do you think that you have outgrown Jesus, that you no longer need a Savior for you are "saved", past tense? How foolish we all are when we forget we still need our Savior. When the Roman soldiers led Jesus off to die, John watched as He receded into the distance, sure he would no longer see the Lord alive. John stood at the foot of the Cross with Mary, and wincingly looked upward at the King of Glory raised up between Heaven and Hell. He stood, then, and accepted Mary as his own. And as Jesus gave up His life, John watched the body being prepared for burial. That broken body, broken for us.

John perhaps felt that he had seen the last of Jesus. Yet, three days later, John heard of the resurrection:

John 20:8  "Then went in also that other disciple, which came first to the sepulcher, and he saw, and believed."

And seeing the empty clothes and the empty tomb, John believed. When our Lord presented Himself to the Apostles, John thrilled to see Him again.  Yet after a scant forty days our Lord had to ascend to Heaven:

Acts 1:9-11 "And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up; and a cloud received him out of their sight. [10]  And while they looked steadfastly toward heaven as he went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel; [11]  Which also said, Ye men of Galilee, why stand ye gazing up into heaven? this same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven."

and John watched Messiah, the Savior he so loved, go away a second time. At that moment I know that John felt that perhaps he would never see Jesus again in this lifetime. Yet, years later, exiled to Patmos John saw Jesus ...

Jesus in His glory ....

and in looking at the Lord of glory in all His holiness, John had to swoon. As black is so much blacker when compared to white, John's own human state looked shockingly inadequate when compared to the purity of Jesus.

John was saved, but still needed the Savior. I am saved, but not perfect - I still need Jesus, and so do you. We fall down in His presence for the Table reminds us that His Body was broken because of our inadequacies. The Lord's Table reminds us that we are not perfect, that we still need the Savior - the broken Body, the shed Blood. The sustenance on this Table was placed here by Jesus.

And I can't stand in His presence. I cannot breathe, unless He gives me breath. I cannot provide Bread nor Wine for this feast. No, I cannot even stand. It is provided by Jesus, only Jesus.

Revelation 1:17 ".. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last ..."

John fell down as if dead when he saw Jesus, but he was revived when Jesus touched him. The foot that was nail-pierced because of our betrayal, that foot did not stomp on nor kick John. The right hand of power that was hammered with the puncturing nails did not strike John, nor push him away. No, Jesus reach down with that nail scarred hand and revived John.

So it is with us. Though we are faithless, Jesus yet remains faithful. Though we often fail to measure up to the high mark of holiness, though we sleep in the Garden and run from the soldiers, that hand ever reaches across space and time to revive us again. The thorn torn face, that Precious Face, never utters condemnation to us. Those lips never say, "Remember your failure, remember how you broke My heart?", but they say:

Luke 22:19  "... This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me. "

The words of Jesus are, "Fear not", and "remember Me". How can we possibly fear when we have so great a Savior? How can we help but rise when the Royal Hand of Jesus says, "fear not, I am the First and the Last". How can we help but be resurrected when Jesus reminds us that He was our first taste of life, true life, and that He will be the last face we shall dwell on as we enter into eternity. He is First for He marches ahead of us, clearing our pathway - where we walk Jesus has already been. And He is the Last for He walks behind us, ever ready to catch us if we stumble and fall.

Christ shuts out all things that could possibly do lasting harm to us, for He covers all time and space. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know that it is on me.

Revelation 1:18 "I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen ..."

The Table reminds us that, though Jesus' body was broken, and His blood shed, He was sacrificed but not destroyed. Jesus has died, but came back from the dead. Though we may die, our Savior has conquered death, and we shall rise again on His Word and in His power. When we lay our head on His bosom as John did, we know that we shall be with Him when we leave this life.

We serve an ever living Lord, and will continue to serve Him into eternity. Today we drink of His Cup, and eat of His Bread. This is a Table not of the vanquished, but of the victorious. This is not a Table for the perfect or sinless, but a Table that we celebrate often - remembering that we still desperately need the Savior.

And we are grateful we found that Savior in Jesus. Prepare your hearts, now, for the Lord's Table.

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