Over the past few years, I have been reading--with keen curiosity--the rants and slams by the so-called ‘literati’ against Christians. We have been--and continue to be--fed a laundry list of complaints from people who just can’t stand Christians.

We’ve had critics and complainers from talk show hosts, to political hacks, to drug-numbed entertainers, to well-dressed talking heads on the six o’clock news, whining about the ability of some people to find peace in Jesus Christ and belief in God.

To the critics, I just have a simple exhortation. Read your Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, and the Bill Of Rights, since you don’t like to read the Bible. Christians twice-born in the USA are still US Citizens. I still have my rights, pay my taxes, and earn my pay, in the good old US of A.

Now, since I have opened the bidding on common sense, here is my challenge to those critics of Christianity. Next time you find out that you have a dollar in your hand from a Christian, why not do the courageous thing--and give it back?

No?

Well, let me see your true convictions and watch you BURN that dollar in the driveway of your mansion. I’ll even be big enough to supply the gasoline.

No takers? Not even those who are funded by taxpayer dollars?

Didn’t think that there would be.

Yet, those of us who have accepted and believe in Jesus Christ, and are doing our best to walk the Bible path are treated to a daily barrage of ‘how mean and intolerant’ we are by people who couldn’t cross a street without bodyguards, security guards, a shrink, a lawyer, a psychic--or a combination of the above!

Now, I’ll admit that I used to get upset whenever I heard and read about those who don’t like Christians. However, along my way to maturity, I discovered that there would ALWAYS be those who don’t like people for one reason or another.

So, I’ve learned how to laugh at God’s critics. Sometimes, we laugh at the critics together, while the slams against Bible believers keep on coming.

Oh, there is one other thing. As a Christian, I did not give up my right to vote.

That’s what really bugs our critics at the last presidential election cycle; the fact that many Christians refused to ‘roll over and play dead’. They went to the polls, more than the critics did. Thus, we have a president of whom we can be proud.

It was amazing that the critics spent more money than the Republicans at the polls, but could not turn out the votes to get their side elected. Perhaps, it was because there were like-minded Christians who were on the other side of the isle who exercised their option and voted for another political party.

Americans DO have the right to change their mind in the voting booth…but I digress.

I have been having quite a big time laughing at those who have money, power, position--and no common sense--who dare to bad mouth the church, but won’t take on some of the real issues of the day.

Let me provide an example. A few months ago, I attended a wedding here in my city. The man and woman who decided to get married had a judge perform the ceremony. Of course, the judge was paid her ‘fee’ for performing a ceremony that used to belong to the exclusive venue of the church. As far as I know…she didn’t give the money back.

Now, if one REALLY wanted to examine the ‘Separation of Church and State’ issue, let’s get ‘real’ about it! Let’s get the STATE out of areas that belong to the CHURCH.

Marriage, last time I looked, was one of those areas.

For you haughty sinners, here is a challenge. Let’s have a constitutional amendment banning ALL judges from having the power to perform marriage ceremonies. Which star--or talking head--will step up to the plate for this pitch?

Any one? Any one at all?

No takers? Oh…then I guess that means that it’s OK to allow the State and the Church to ‘mingle’ in those arenas where the public receives a benefit.

Of course, if judges really wanted to ‘work’ the circuit, more and more of them should do funerals in addition to weddings. We can’t afford to have ‘them Christians’ giving a biblical sendoff to a friend, family member, or relative.

Besides, most judges that I know wear black robes.

They would fit in nicely at the local cemetery.

What? You say that this would entail too much work for judges?

All right, lets really push the envelope for the separation of state and church.

How about those stars and media/entertainment big wigs who have regular, private sessions with a psychologist pay for that psychologist to offer their counseling services--for as long as it takes--to the next school shootout, local crime scene, or 9/11 tragedy. This way, society won’t have to be ‘burdened’ by hearing about ‘the Comfort of the Lord’ from the local church community. Pastors could better use their time doing ‘church’ stuff.

How about pre-marital counseling to stabilize new marriages. Oh, I’m sorry. The social workers will have to help the judges with that, since we can’t have people hearing about the wonders of true marriage from ‘those dangerous Christians’ such as myself.

Too cruel, right? Let’s move on.

How about banning the use of the Salvation Army at the scene of the next natural disaster? Let the National Guard for the state involved be mobilized to provide food, shelter, clothing and comfort to tornado victims, flood victims, or fire victims--that is, AFTER we exempt those members of the Guard who are Christians. After all…the Salvation Army was created by one of those ‘kooks’ in the church. Call in the Red Cross? Ooops…can’t let folks see that symbol; it MIGHT make them want to read a Bible.

Of course, with the state handling things, Pastors need not be taken away to offer biblical comfort to those in need. They could concentrate on more research and better sermons to feed their flocks.

Now, we are aware of the fact that the IRS could investigate Pastors if they show favoritism in the pulpit for one political candidate or party over another. However, to solve this problem, Pastors could preach against various economic sectors, stores, and industries. After all, there is NOTHING in the 501 C 3 code, which bans a church from targeted economic protest. Sure, Christians would still pay their taxes--as this is biblical. However, more Christians would be keeping their discretionary income in the church--or their pockets--as Wall Street, Hollywood and the media elite would be targeted for economic blockade. Disney is only the beginning.

You see, those who protest Christians like myself, and rail against the church and the Bible seem to forget that Christians have incomes, too. We go to work, and bring home the pay just like everyone else. As a matter of fact, the Bible commands Christian workers to be the BEST workers and the HARDEST workers in ANY business.

It sure would be funny to see those protesting the role of the church showing up at a ‘church’ some Sunday afternoon begging for something to eat, as their studio had been shut down, their mansions foreclosed upon, and their family tossed into the street for nonpayment of rent. It would really give someone an ‘open look’ at those ‘evil Christians’ as we feed you and clothe you. Blast that section of the Bible where Jesus talked about the ‘Good Samaritan’ under your breath while you load up on groceries.

You know why I laugh at those who rail at us? Because, God is ALSO laughing at THEM! Oh yes, read your Bible. God has a hearty laugh at those who think that they know MORE than he does; or at those individuals who think that they can sin their way to happiness. HE makes the way of the transgressor HARD…so they will eventually come back to the reality that God is needed, and needs to be heeded in his Word.

The day will come when the Christians will be leaving the United States, and this old world. We will be able to take up our REAL residences in glory, according to I Thessalonians, Chapter 4. Once there, we will be laughing ourselves silly, as the ‘wise’ men will be left on earth to fend off the economic, social, and environmental problems that will be left in the wake of our departure.

So, go ahead. Call me whatever names strike your fancy. Make fun of my morals, my Bible, and my faith. Rail at my paying my taxes on time, going to work on time, and not throwing my money after the filth and trash that comes from Hollywood. Complain good and loud when a church decides to hold a public CD burning party, or dares to stress the need for sexual purity before marriage.

We’ll just keep on doing what we are doing…and laughing our way to heaven.

You can come if you want to…just ask a Christian how to do it.

However, there will be a time where the modern critics will be standing with Nero, Hitler, and a host of other assorted God-haters and Christian-bashers from throughout history. They will be before the throne of God.

We who believe KNOW who will have the LAST laugh!

And, it won’t be the critic!

MIKE RAMEY is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE. A column written from a biblical, business, and common sense perspective. The column is viewed on many fine websites around the world. Emails are welcomed to manhoodline@yahoo.com. ©2005 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications International.